Real eyes. Realize. Real lies.

Today went well. Had a photoshoot in the park. Broke into old houses again. Teehee. And then went to Waffle House where the service was pretty bad. Three days until I’m gone…

Ended up spending 5 and a half hours at my friend’s house practicing for a musical we may not even do. But we are trying to convince the director, and we have a very substantial case that will be hard for her to deny! So, fingers crossed. For the rest of the summer, I’ll just have to practice singing which will be really hard because I am utterly tone deaf and can’t read music.

But she had this thing at her house that you lay on and if flips you back and upside down. It was really fun. Our other friend got on it and wouldn’t get off. When she finally did, she was purple in the face and sounded really high. Reminder to self that she should never do drugs. Ever. She can get crazy enough without them.

And my hermit crab’s food that I bought smells really bad. I think I should return it if they’ll let me. Ugh. I hate those kinds of situations. But it’ll be good for me, I suppose.

Today started off sour, but it ended with a bang. Filming didn’t go entirely as planned, but it will do. I can’t wait to start to editing. I think it’ll be great.

So, we filmed on this backwoods road in the country. Forest around. Creek. Bugs. We had some blood and a car. There was a HUGE wolf spider about four inches long that scared the crap out of me. But it was nice.

My mother is just a closet hoarder waiting to unleash her full powers. I swear, when I get back in a month that damn room better be clean. It’s only been like, three years. Yeah. Fuck. I can’t ever find my shit when I look for it. And that fucking garage better get into shape too. Damn, you don’t need to hold on to every single thing. There’s a shit ton of stuff in my room alone that I want to get rid of, but I can’t because of some emotional attachment. I’d rather just get rid of it instead of seeing it all get broken from being piled up. Fuck. I’m kinda pissed right now. Goddammit.

I actually had a lot of fun on the boat today. Even though it was like, ten minutes it was good. Really want a huge boat, wfo, yeah.

And got in the pool for the first time this summer. Was great.

Filming tomorrow. Cars. Blood. Nice. The first and really only GORE scene in my film. I’m excited about this thing. A nice blend of Alice in Wonderland, Heathers, and Carrie. :)

I really don’t want to, but I think I’ll suck it up and go on the lake with my dad. Then I’ll go to the pet store, cuz everytime I put food in my hermit crab’s bowl, he moves it to some obscure part of his tank and buries it… I need to see if I can bring the little guy with me next week. He’d make good company.

My dad’s just being really awkward today, and I want to get out of this house. He keeps trying to initiate conversation with me by asking an ambiguous question without solidifying a firm topic first. And he’s just sitting in the living room staring at the blank TV. Jeez. Now I know where I get my awkwardness from. Why is it that I can’t relate to my own father? This is bad. Totally bad.

Now, on to yesterday. It was FANTASTIC. Hopped in the car with a friend and we drove an hour out into the boonies to hit up the Bell Witch Cave. It was pretty rad. I like caves and stuff so it was cool. Then drove about another hour and got lost in the windy roads that lead further and further into nowhere. It seemed like we were in Children of the Corn or something like that. Then we made our way back into town and ate at the only place that was open, the Bell Witch Cafeteria. It looked like nothing, being on the side of an abandoned school building, but the food was sooo good. Out of this world, amazing. After loading up, we drove around the block to the only other buildings in this miniscule town. All three boarded up and falling apart. There were two stores and a church. We managed to break into the church and nosed around. The place was a trash heap, a dumping ground for the locals. We did find a photo album, though and snatched a few pictures from it as keepsakes. A lengthy discussion followed as to the meaning of the photos and all the memories that were forgotten now since they were left.

After this, I went to the school and hung out with a few friends in the light booth during the city’s talent show. It was okay for the most part, but this one band did a cover of “Crazy Train” and it was almost just as good as when Ozzy does it. And they were only kids! And they didn’t win. The winners were a group of douchebag beat boxers that copied their entire act from a youtube video. And the other winners were sucky bitches, too. So, just goes to show that if you suck, you can make it to the top. But it was nearly six hours of sitting up there, but it was fun.

An overall good day, I suppose. Going to school in a week now, so I’m extremely nervous yet excited. It’ll be a new experience. A chance to meet new people. I’m just excited to get out of this house for a month. I love my parents and everything, it’s just I can’t take it lately. Everything they do seems to annoy the crap out of me, and I don’t know why. I wish it didn’t, but it does. I have no relationship with my father, right now he seems to be just a sperm donor that gives me money and houses me. And mom is just driving me crazy. All kinds of stuff. One second I’m okay with her, and the next I’m blowing up at her nearly cussing my head off. I hate me right now, and I really want a change of environment. Just one more week. One more week.

Today was so so. Another lazy day. Ran by a couple people’s houses to drop stuff off then got my hair cut.

Kinda pissed at someone, but oh well. People fault and that can’t be helped. We’ll see how tomorrow goes. Waiting on a phone call.

Today went way better than expected. Had the queen Heather with us, but she did alright. Got all southerny for the shoot and it was great.

Dinner was pretty good. All piled into the corner seat talking about everything from Guts by Chuck Palahniuk to butt sex in the journalism room. Yeah, we’re cool… :/

And the “best friend” was there surprisingly. He is even more douchbaggy than the last time I saw him, and I realized that he’s worthless and nothing good. Finally got him home after 11 cuz he lives the furthest away, and the ass even had to nerve to beg me to have my mom lie to his saying she was with us. I have no curfew, and I have morals. I’m not going to lie, nor have my mother do it. Sorry, but I’m not like you. You are old enough to start taking responsibility and initiative. Lying won’t save you for much longer.

But yeah. It was an overall good day, and I’m satisfied.

I feel like my mom has been extremely testy and irritated with me lately and I don’t know why.